Please pass the Xanax

I travel alot for work. You might even say that traveling IS my work, largely because I spend more time actually travelling to see my clients than I actually spend WITH my clients. For what? To shake their hands, take them out to dinner, pressure them to spend money they don't have to spend. Yep. That about sizes it up. My territory is the entire East Coast of the US as far west as Detroit, Canada, and the Caribbean. Its a big territory for one guy to cover. I keep telling my boss that, but he doesn't listen. When I am talking to my friends, or just random people I meet, and the subject of my work comes up, I always see that same wide-eyed look of excitement on everyone's face when I say "and the Caribbean". Everyone assumes that this is the perk of covering such a large territory. "Well at least you have the Caribbean", they say. I would rather go to Pittsburgh than the Caribbean. In the last month, I have been to: St. Thomas, St. John, Tortola, St. Maarten (and St. Martin), San Juan, Aruba, and I am right now in Barbados. Next week, I am in Grand Cayman, and Jamaica, the week after, the Bahamas. I have been to all these places before. I'm sure I will go to them all again. But... be it known, it will be against my will. Let me back up.... I can see how a nice vacation on a beautiful island, with someone you love (or even just someone you like...to see naked) can be a wonderful experience. Romantic island requiring very little clothing, alchohol flows freely, and hotel sex. How could it be bad? Right? Resorts make everything so easy for you, and you have the vacation induced, care free, spend-it-all attitude that makes these experiences memorable and fun. When you are a single guy, traveling alone....for work, to some of the most romantic destinations on earth, the vacation scenery makes you naseous as you order room service for the umpteenth time. That's why I say I would rather travel to Pittsburgh, or Duluth, or any other place that you don't mind going to alone. Its not because I like these places, its precisely the opposite. Work is supposed to be WORK. Going to Duluth, MN in December when its -22 degrees, is WORK. My trips to the Caribbean are work, but it fucks with your head to be trying to get shit done while everyone else is on the beach with fruity fucking umbrella drink in their hand. I also believe in fate, and that you have a limited number of Take-offs and Landings alotted to you in a lifetime. Especially with today's cut-rate commercial airline situation. Iamusing mine up rapidly... Its a lonely existence out here...on the road. Don't kick me in the nuts by throwing a beautiful island in there, complete with utopian happy couples that agree on everything, and gaze into eachother's eyes as the sun slowly dips into the lapis blue fucking ocean. I fly back to NYC tomorrow. I can't wait. 7 hours of flying, with an additional 2 hour layover, and I'll be back where I know what I can expect. Gray, and unforgiving...the way I like it. Where I won't be the only guy wearing black, and wear depression is a welcome part of life. not to mention some decent fucking sushi. So like I said. Until then. Pass the Xanax.